For the last two weeks I have been wondering to myself, what to do next? After my first solo trip vacation I came back with a new outlook. Just after Christmas time I am seeing thru my other social media outlets that everyone posts presents and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Not once have I seen any posts about giving, or that Christmas is not about opening presents. And if there was anything I learned from this trip was how it doesn’t seem right to want more than what you need but don’t get me wrong I completely understand that side of working hard and getting whatever you want. But maybe its me getting older, I’m finding that I am wanting a more simplistic life. Where life doesn’t evolve money, and money doesn’t exactly measure happiness. I am hoping going into the new year that I am able to make better moves in order to match this new outlook. Maybe a new job? Maybe moving? Where to start I’m not sure but I have to start somewhere.
Back home, back to reality, back to what I call, “adulting.” Its been two days back at work and just like a tornado the stressors of everyday life hit me hard. If there has been one thing I learned during my semi vacation is that I loved having my random cheap online job. I was able to create my own schedule and it was stress free. Even though it was more for filling in the gaps of loneliness on my first solo vacation, it was refreshing. It actually got me thinking, why can’t I just find another job that allows me to make my own schedule and still be successful? Why not? So, maybe just maybe this will be the start of another little adventure to look into. But let me reflect back on this trip…
It was for the most part, lonely. Once I had arrived back home I was so thankful to be home but as I look back on the trip I realize I needed it. The workaholic in me had me dying to get things done but pushing myself to relax, and just try and calmly enjoy the day was a new experience. Sometimes I get so caught up with life that I forget to just live. With that said, hopefully I can keep pushing myself to enjoy life a little more.
Also, I have learned that there are a lot of things that I believe I couldn’t do before. Simple things like going out somewhere on my own, dining on my own. Why haven’t I don’t these? Well probably because I’ve just been scared, scared for my safety that is. With how the world is today you always have to be safe, but I found myself being too paranoid. And this trip has definitely made me more independent in a sense that I can still be cautious but still do things on my own. There are still friendly strangers out there in this world and I just happened to be lucky that everyone encountered and talked to happen to be genuinely happy and kind people.
For the most part this trip was bittersweet, but I wouldn’t take it back. I learned a lot about myself as well how I want to see things when it comes to just everyday life. I don’t want to spend it in an office or a cubical. I just have to keep reminding myself to live life.