Back home, back to reality, back to what I call, “adulting.” Its been two days back at work and just like a tornado the stressors of everyday life hit me hard. If there has been one thing I learned during my semi vacation is that I loved having my random cheap online job. I was able to create my own schedule and it was stress free. Even though it was more for filling in the gaps of loneliness on my first solo vacation, it was refreshing. It actually got me thinking, why can’t I just find another job that allows me to make my own schedule and still be successful? Why not? So, maybe just maybe this will be the start of another little adventure to look into. But let me reflect back on this trip…
It was for the most part, lonely. Once I had arrived back home I was so thankful to be home but as I look back on the trip I realize I needed it. The workaholic in me had me dying to get things done but pushing myself to relax, and just try and calmly enjoy the day was a new experience. Sometimes I get so caught up with life that I forget to just live. With that said, hopefully I can keep pushing myself to enjoy life a little more.
Also, I have learned that there are a lot of things that I believe I couldn’t do before. Simple things like going out somewhere on my own, dining on my own. Why haven’t I don’t these? Well probably because I’ve just been scared, scared for my safety that is. With how the world is today you always have to be safe, but I found myself being too paranoid. And this trip has definitely made me more independent in a sense that I can still be cautious but still do things on my own. There are still friendly strangers out there in this world and I just happened to be lucky that everyone encountered and talked to happen to be genuinely happy and kind people.
For the most part this trip was bittersweet, but I wouldn’t take it back. I learned a lot about myself as well how I want to see things when it comes to just everyday life. I don’t want to spend it in an office or a cubical. I just have to keep reminding myself to live life.
My last full day here on my trip. I can definitely say this solo trip seems very bittersweet. The upside of this trip was just being able to see old friends and the downside being on my own isn’t as fun. Maybe its me or just the workaholic in me that is not liking the feeling of having days consisting of doing nothing, it just makes me anxious. It’s not the greatest feeling in the world, and I do know others enjoy it but I have learned that I am definitely one of those people that prefers an agenda. Don’t get me wrong there were mornings where I managed sleep in past 6am and it just felt good but besides that, it was straight boring but hey make the best of it right? So the day has just begun and there’s still time for me to figure this day out. I will be back…
What can I say? For the very first time in a really really really long time. I let myself do absolutely nothing, well almost nothing. For someone that is constantly on the move and always wanting to be able to get things done it was REFRESHING. Normally when I just sit still I am easily tempted to just get up and find something to do. Besides waking up with a terrible headache I managed to get myself up out of bed and then found myself at the hotel gym. Baby steps people! Baby steps! On another note, another first for me was going out to eat on my own. Table for one please.
I’m slowly finding that this whole independence thing is not that bad. I use to get anxiety over even asking about things on a food menu or when I’d have to ask for things at shopping counter. It is funny how much someone changes over their lifetime. One thing I’ve come to realize that I’m learning about myself is once you get comfortable with where you are at, you get even more scared of trying something new. It’s the unfamiliar and not knowing the end result is what pushes people back to their safe zones. So for now, I’m learning its okay to look stupid, its okay to ask questions, and just keep trying to push yourself into new things. I’m noting this now because lets face it, I’m going to have to continue to tell myself as the days pass during this trip and just meeting people along the way.
In exactly 5 more days I will be taking my very first vacation on my very own. Now I’ve traveled before but never alone. Hopefully this will be a great adventure for me. I have been so use to working for pretty much 99.9% of my life worrying about my family and other stresses of life. So, off of an unthought out decisions I reserved a week off of work and just quickly booked a flight with some slight hesitation. With that said, what do people actually do while on vacation? I’ve only ever had vacations where you have a listed itinerary to keep yourself busy which is the workaholic in me. In fact, I actually signed myself up for some online work while I’m on vacation but I’m trying to tell myself not to work but we will see how that goes.
On that note, I’d love to hear some stories or even advice for someone going on their very first adventure travel to some honest downtime to themselves.